Have a Laugh

Peter Warner handed me these at our last pastoral meeting. Thought you might enjoy them, and since my last post deleted itself (don't ask; I don't know) I wasn't in the mood to be creative.

Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

5. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

14. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

15. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

16. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.