Scott & Sarah Kennedy

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Common Sense - From Herald Sideswipe


On the Death of Common Sense. Today we mourn the passing of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools needed parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents; Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son,

Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and I'm a Whiner.


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